I swear too much. I’m not looking to apologize for this. I just feel duty bound to inform you. If you’re easily offended, then you may find this challenging to get through. I like my spicy little words and I’ll be damned if I stop using them. I used to try very much to conform to what I thought others wanted of me, but really, over time I’ve come to understand that it’s better for me and everyone involved if I just be true to who I am.
Some of these lessons in life take a long time to learn. Mastery of who we are is quite a long process. As I like to say, sometimes ‘the becoming’ can take a lifetime. Maybe reading about my little boogie to the point I’m at now, will help you on your journey or at the very least be somewhat entertaining for you.
Later this year I'll be 55! Fifty fucking five! Double nickels, I can hardly believe it. It seems like a whirlwind of a trip and the longest damn slog I’ve been on, all at the same time. It’s weird that it can feel like both, but once you have kids that whole time space continuum thing gets all wacky like that. Parents understand when thinking about their teenager or grown child that it can seem like yesterday that you had your sweet little angel all while seeming like millennia.
I don’t pretend
to be a master at many of life’s lessons, that’s for damn sure. I know there are some lessons that I will
never learn. Some never become a part of
your curriculum; others I could probably write a dissertation on. One thing remains constant, life goes
on. Whether she’s being a bitch or being
funny, life moves on. As a teacher of
mine used to always say, “Time and tide wait for no man.” Yes, I know he was quoting others that came
before him, but pretty deep for a high school art teacher. As a kid, you think you understand shit like
that, but you don’t, not really. My dad
used to say, “The older you get, the faster time goes.” My thoughts at the time were ‘sure, sure, 24
hours is 24 hours’. Now, I know just
what he means and I’ve figured out why it seems that way too. That, however is a discussion for another
time.
I started documenting my story to help myself. It’s been a long trek because I would get
diverted by global pandemics, hard times, shiny objects, etc. So it’s been a long, slow process putting
this all down on paper. It’s been a good
pilgrimage though. I do genuinely hope
that it helps someone out there on their own long, strange trip. But the initial process of putting all of
this down was a personal therapeutic choice.
I know there are people who won’t like the fact that I’m putting all of
this out there for public consumption.
But hey, I didn’t like the abuse that I suffered at your hands either,
so now you have something that you have to live with. Oh and if you're one of those people, fuck you!
